She was quietly proud of all us kids. We wanted to excel in life so she could be proud of us and not have to ever hear again --- "Here comes Melba and her brats, don't answer the door." her children and grandchildren's accomplishments made her last twenty years feel like all that work was worth her years of hard labor.
We all wanted to spoil her to the best of our abilities. Elvin always said, "What ever my Mama wants, I'll try to see she gets it." She bragged to her friends, "I have 13 kids and we are best friends. If I wanted a Cadillac and asked them for it, they'd get it for me." Fortunately, she never wanted a Cadillac.
Mom slowed down her travels the last year and half of her life. After Wayne, one of the twins, was killed in an auto accident in 1988, I saw a change in her pattern. She didn't want to see he children go first. she could hardly make herself drive over the new highway Wayne had helped build between Las Vegas and Bull Head City just before his death.
She took up the occupation of worrying. I told her to quit that. I had always bragged about her in Relief Society when I taught my Family Education lessons. I told everyone how my mother was my hero. She would take care of the problems she could handle and not worry about thing she couldn't change. i said, "Don't make a liar out of me now, after all these years." She laughed. It always surprised her to find just how wise we children found her to be.
Daddy always had jobs that required him to be up at four or five in the mornings. Mom was always there to fix his breakfast and pack a lunch. Then they would sit around the table laughing and talking until he left, a comforting sound to sleeping children. The memories of the smell of bacon and coffee in early hours still makes me homesick.
Although it had bee years since Daddy died and the last child moved out, Mom found herself still waking up early. When the sun went down she found herself expecting someone to come home. She missed her early morning talks and tasks.
She then was living in Bullhead City across the river from the boom town of Laughlin. to our surprise she began taking the ferry across the Colorado River from Arizona to the Nevada side to Sam's Town Casino. There she enjoyed an Early Bird ninety nine cent breakfast and game of Bingo. She was happy to finally find something she could do other that sit around feeling gloom and doom.
Visiting Kids
All the children grew up and married with lives of their own. Mom's friend Sandy would travel with her. he encouraged her to be independent and not let the kids tell her she was old and should stay home in a rocking chair in case they needed her.
Mon and Sandy would travel to land sales promotions and Mom would put down payments on property and make monthly payments so she would have something of growing value to have in her old age.
Mom believe land was something one should have. She bought 2 lots in the town site just opened in Lake Havasu, Arizona. She bought one in Riviera, Arizona. Today those two towns have grown beyond her dreams. Riviera has been incorporated into the city of Bullhead City. She bought 2 lots in Berlin, New Mexico, one each in Mead View and Dolon Springs, Arizona.
Then Sandy was killed in a car wreck as he was turning into the driveway at mom's home in Las Vegas. She was devastated again.
Around 1980 she made the decision to leave Las Vegas and the old homestead where all the memories pressed in on her. She was determined to start a new life and not get stuck in limbo. there was living to do and she was going to do it.
She prepared to move to her Riviera property in Bull head City, Arizona, thirty miles from me in Needles, California. On it Elvin fixed his mother a home she loved and was proud to live in. She bought herself a car and visited anyone she felt like visiting. She had wheels and knew how to use them.
There was Kathryn in Kansas, LaVerna in Southern Utah, Elvin's and Wayne's families in Pahurump, Nevada, Emma lea in Rocklin, CA. and Erick was her pit stop at Bunkerville, Nevada when ever Mom drove to St. George, Willard, Deanna, Jeffrey, Kenny, and Tammy all lived in Las Vegas. I was in Needles. Rose Marie was in Hawaii, one place her car couldn't take her. But she flew over a few times.
Mom told people she had thirteen children and could spend one month with each one and never be at the same home twice for Christmas for 13 years.
She was our best friend, When we children get together we talk about "My Mother". There were a FEW times when we said, "Do you know war YOUR mother did?" If I ever whined or sniveled about my husband's imperfections, mom always stuck up for him. she thought he spoiled me rotten. he has lost his best allly and I, my friend.
Mon and Sandy would travel to land sales promotions and Mom would put down payments on property and make monthly payments so she would have something of growing value to have in her old age.
Mom believe land was something one should have. She bought 2 lots in the town site just opened in Lake Havasu, Arizona. She bought one in Riviera, Arizona. Today those two towns have grown beyond her dreams. Riviera has been incorporated into the city of Bullhead City. She bought 2 lots in Berlin, New Mexico, one each in Mead View and Dolon Springs, Arizona.
Then Sandy was killed in a car wreck as he was turning into the driveway at mom's home in Las Vegas. She was devastated again.
Around 1980 she made the decision to leave Las Vegas and the old homestead where all the memories pressed in on her. She was determined to start a new life and not get stuck in limbo. there was living to do and she was going to do it.
She prepared to move to her Riviera property in Bull head City, Arizona, thirty miles from me in Needles, California. On it Elvin fixed his mother a home she loved and was proud to live in. She bought herself a car and visited anyone she felt like visiting. She had wheels and knew how to use them.
There was Kathryn in Kansas, LaVerna in Southern Utah, Elvin's and Wayne's families in Pahurump, Nevada, Emma lea in Rocklin, CA. and Erick was her pit stop at Bunkerville, Nevada when ever Mom drove to St. George, Willard, Deanna, Jeffrey, Kenny, and Tammy all lived in Las Vegas. I was in Needles. Rose Marie was in Hawaii, one place her car couldn't take her. But she flew over a few times.
Mom told people she had thirteen children and could spend one month with each one and never be at the same home twice for Christmas for 13 years.
She was our best friend, When we children get together we talk about "My Mother". There were a FEW times when we said, "Do you know war YOUR mother did?" If I ever whined or sniveled about my husband's imperfections, mom always stuck up for him. she thought he spoiled me rotten. he has lost his best allly and I, my friend.
Broken Eggs
There was a time in my married life when my husband decided he liked chickens. He build me a coop and bought a couple hundred chickens, whether I wanted them or not.
One day shortly after Mom had been down for a visit, bringing Rose and Tammy to play with my 4 children. Jimmy and I found a place near the front of the chicken coop where a shallow hole had been scooped out and a large batch of broken eggs were buried. Naturally i though of Rose Marie who was known for her impetuous personality.
On the next visit from Mom and the girls, we were sitting at the table eating lunch when I remembered the broken eggs.
"Rose," I said, "Do you need to tell me about anything you did the last time you were here that I should know about?"
"What do you mean, " she asked guiltily, "Do you mean the time Mike and I took a package of instant pudding to the bushes and made a bowl of it to eat without asking?"
"No."
"Oh, do you mean the time Mike and I snuck a pack of Jimmy's cigarettes out of the drawer and smoked them in the bushes?"
"No!" this was getting interesting.
"Well, do you mean the time we walked to the river and filled our pop bottles with water and wrote dirty words in the road?"
"No!" Rose was getting a panicky look on her face. "Do you know anything about a bunch of broken eggs?"
Mam gave a surprised giggle. "I know what you are talking about. I did that. I gathered the eggs for you and tripped as I left the coop. i did a big flip onto the ground trying not to drop the bucket. it sailed over my head in a circle and smashed right there in front of my face. i didn't want the dog to eat them and get a taste for eggs so I scooped a hole in the sand and buried them." We had us a good laugh. i don't think Rose Marie thought it was so funny being tricked into confessing to all her past sins.
One day shortly after Mom had been down for a visit, bringing Rose and Tammy to play with my 4 children. Jimmy and I found a place near the front of the chicken coop where a shallow hole had been scooped out and a large batch of broken eggs were buried. Naturally i though of Rose Marie who was known for her impetuous personality.
On the next visit from Mom and the girls, we were sitting at the table eating lunch when I remembered the broken eggs.
"Rose," I said, "Do you need to tell me about anything you did the last time you were here that I should know about?"
"What do you mean, " she asked guiltily, "Do you mean the time Mike and I took a package of instant pudding to the bushes and made a bowl of it to eat without asking?"
"No."
"Oh, do you mean the time Mike and I snuck a pack of Jimmy's cigarettes out of the drawer and smoked them in the bushes?"
"No!" this was getting interesting.
"Well, do you mean the time we walked to the river and filled our pop bottles with water and wrote dirty words in the road?"
"No!" Rose was getting a panicky look on her face. "Do you know anything about a bunch of broken eggs?"
Mam gave a surprised giggle. "I know what you are talking about. I did that. I gathered the eggs for you and tripped as I left the coop. i did a big flip onto the ground trying not to drop the bucket. it sailed over my head in a circle and smashed right there in front of my face. i didn't want the dog to eat them and get a taste for eggs so I scooped a hole in the sand and buried them." We had us a good laugh. i don't think Rose Marie thought it was so funny being tricked into confessing to all her past sins.
How Does One Go On?
These were the hardest and saddest years for Mom. How was she to go on? After all those years of being a housewife and mother, she had to find work to help support the family. She got a job making salads for the salad bar at Hill Top House, a restaurant owned by old friends. She sold Avon. She sold Tupperware.
She soon felt she had lost control of her children. Without help of Daddy to back her authority, her children thought she had not the right to tell them what to do and were going wrong directions.
Tammy, who has always been Mom's baby, was sent to live with LaVerna's family for her freshman year of High School. The separation was hard on both Mother and Daughter. Tammy came home with a new found respect for Mom and things went better for them.
Kenny was a rebellious enough teenager to move into a big card board box in the back yard of his 16 year old future wife's home. Mom could not understand how to handle these teenage problems. Without Dad there everyone was in turmoil.
The best thing about teenagers is that they soon grow up. That is part of the "Great Plan." Teenagers have to enter a period of time where the are so obnoxious parents are glad to send them off into the world. If they remained as sweet as they were as toddlers, how could a mother's heart ever stand the pain of watching them leave home as adults.
Now that we are all old enough to understand life, we appreciated and love Mom so much more for all the sacrifices she made and for the grit and courage it took to carry on.
I am even thankful for her friend Sandy who cam along to give moral support and tell her she was a person.... not just a Mother.
She soon felt she had lost control of her children. Without help of Daddy to back her authority, her children thought she had not the right to tell them what to do and were going wrong directions.
Tammy, who has always been Mom's baby, was sent to live with LaVerna's family for her freshman year of High School. The separation was hard on both Mother and Daughter. Tammy came home with a new found respect for Mom and things went better for them.
Kenny was a rebellious enough teenager to move into a big card board box in the back yard of his 16 year old future wife's home. Mom could not understand how to handle these teenage problems. Without Dad there everyone was in turmoil.
The best thing about teenagers is that they soon grow up. That is part of the "Great Plan." Teenagers have to enter a period of time where the are so obnoxious parents are glad to send them off into the world. If they remained as sweet as they were as toddlers, how could a mother's heart ever stand the pain of watching them leave home as adults.
Now that we are all old enough to understand life, we appreciated and love Mom so much more for all the sacrifices she made and for the grit and courage it took to carry on.
I am even thankful for her friend Sandy who cam along to give moral support and tell her she was a person.... not just a Mother.
One Car Accident
This home in Las Vegas is also where the years of smoking cigarettes and working in the dust on the heavy equipment jobs caught up with Dad.
Working at the Nevada Atomic Test Site didn't help his lungs either. He would drive his Bulldozer into the area of Ground Zero after Atom bobs were exploded above ground. He wore a radiation meter on his coveralls. When it reached a high contamination reading he would be sent home for a few weeks until his radiation meter read cool again.
After one of dad's first experiences of participating in an above ground nuclear test explosion, he wrote home to Mom and said how sick most of the men were who had taken part. Most of the men Had returned to the dormitories violently ill with vomiting. Elvin had just come out of the Navy and Dad had got him a job at Mercury with him. Daddy said how glad he was Elvin's job required him to be inside that day so he was not sick too.
Many of these men later in life developed a variety of Cancers that ended their lives. We all suspect these above ground test caused the diseases that caused their ends on this Earth to be pain ridden. Of course the government denies any wrong doing.
By age fifty eight Dad was always sick with pneumonia symptoms. it was finally diagnosed as Emphysema. With this dreaded lung disease he experienced failing health and the depression that comes with it.
In 1967 at age 60, Dad was killed in a one car roll over accident. That was probably the first time Mom and the small kids weren't in the car with him when he was traveling to Utah. He was on his way to see a cousin friend of his youth.
There were no speed limits on the Nevada highways. Dad passed a car as he was traveling over the Mormon Mesa near Glendale, Nevada. His speed was estimated at over 100 miles per hour as he passed, became airborne and lost control of his car. The car rolled several times and Dad was killed instantly as he was ejected from the vehicle.
Dad had 6 strong sons who carried him to his final resting place. The L.D.S. Chapel in Las Vegas was packed with many friends as well as family. Many people loved him and did not know the turmoil his soul had been going through as his health worsened in the last year of his life. God took him speedily so his suffering would be at an end.
We buried him in St. George where all his parents and grand parents are buried.
Jeffery had just come out of the service from serving in Viet Nam. Emma Lea, Kenny, Rosemarie, and Tammy were still in school.
Working at the Nevada Atomic Test Site didn't help his lungs either. He would drive his Bulldozer into the area of Ground Zero after Atom bobs were exploded above ground. He wore a radiation meter on his coveralls. When it reached a high contamination reading he would be sent home for a few weeks until his radiation meter read cool again.
After one of dad's first experiences of participating in an above ground nuclear test explosion, he wrote home to Mom and said how sick most of the men were who had taken part. Most of the men Had returned to the dormitories violently ill with vomiting. Elvin had just come out of the Navy and Dad had got him a job at Mercury with him. Daddy said how glad he was Elvin's job required him to be inside that day so he was not sick too.
Many of these men later in life developed a variety of Cancers that ended their lives. We all suspect these above ground test caused the diseases that caused their ends on this Earth to be pain ridden. Of course the government denies any wrong doing.
By age fifty eight Dad was always sick with pneumonia symptoms. it was finally diagnosed as Emphysema. With this dreaded lung disease he experienced failing health and the depression that comes with it.
In 1967 at age 60, Dad was killed in a one car roll over accident. That was probably the first time Mom and the small kids weren't in the car with him when he was traveling to Utah. He was on his way to see a cousin friend of his youth.
There were no speed limits on the Nevada highways. Dad passed a car as he was traveling over the Mormon Mesa near Glendale, Nevada. His speed was estimated at over 100 miles per hour as he passed, became airborne and lost control of his car. The car rolled several times and Dad was killed instantly as he was ejected from the vehicle.
Dad had 6 strong sons who carried him to his final resting place. The L.D.S. Chapel in Las Vegas was packed with many friends as well as family. Many people loved him and did not know the turmoil his soul had been going through as his health worsened in the last year of his life. God took him speedily so his suffering would be at an end.
We buried him in St. George where all his parents and grand parents are buried.
Jeffery had just come out of the service from serving in Viet Nam. Emma Lea, Kenny, Rosemarie, and Tammy were still in school.
Pushed Over the Edge
There is a story Kathryn, Kenny and Emma Lea told of time living in Las Vegas. Elvin thinks this story may be painful to be told, but this was life the way it was lived. Things were not always as we wish they could have been.
One weekend when Kathryn was the teenager left in charge of the kids while Mom and dad were gone for the day, there came a point where Jeffery teased her once to often. What he did was not important. it was just another minor offense added to the thousand other times the younger brother had tormented his sister in his disrespectful teenage way. It seemed Jeff was set to see how far he could push her.
The final straw came over something as trivial as a can of Tuna Fish and crackers.
As heated words came to blows Kathryn went to the closet where Dad kept his hunting guns. She grabbed a rifle, loaded it, and aimed it at Jeff. She was so angry as she pointed it at him the look on her face must have let him know she was not fooling.
Kathryn said it was hard to explain what feeling came over her as she aimed the gun and watched Jeff's face drain of color leaving only bright freckles and wide blue eyes staring in fear.
A feeling of triumph came to her seeing the object of constant torment at such a disadvantage. She was not herself as she realized she was in control and gloried in knowing she finally had Jeff without the scornful look on his face.
Meanwhile, as the battle first broke out with little Kenny and Emma Lea watching in horror, they ran for help! they had watched as the pacifist Kathryn finally turned on her tormentor, the ran to Elvin as fast as they could with wide eyes and fear on their faces.
One weekend when Kathryn was the teenager left in charge of the kids while Mom and dad were gone for the day, there came a point where Jeffery teased her once to often. What he did was not important. it was just another minor offense added to the thousand other times the younger brother had tormented his sister in his disrespectful teenage way. It seemed Jeff was set to see how far he could push her.
The final straw came over something as trivial as a can of Tuna Fish and crackers.
As heated words came to blows Kathryn went to the closet where Dad kept his hunting guns. She grabbed a rifle, loaded it, and aimed it at Jeff. She was so angry as she pointed it at him the look on her face must have let him know she was not fooling.
Kathryn said it was hard to explain what feeling came over her as she aimed the gun and watched Jeff's face drain of color leaving only bright freckles and wide blue eyes staring in fear.
A feeling of triumph came to her seeing the object of constant torment at such a disadvantage. She was not herself as she realized she was in control and gloried in knowing she finally had Jeff without the scornful look on his face.
Meanwhile, as the battle first broke out with little Kenny and Emma Lea watching in horror, they ran for help! they had watched as the pacifist Kathryn finally turned on her tormentor, the ran to Elvin as fast as they could with wide eyes and fear on their faces.
Jeff's Road Trip
When Dad moved his children to Las Vegas in 1957, Jeff hated to leave behind all his friends.
By the time Jeff turned 12 the next year in May, he had a small motorcycle. Summer came and jeff decided it was time to head back to utah for a visit.
Mom said she and Dad came home from a shopping rip to the store and found a note left for themon the piano. it was from Jeff. It read: "Never worry never fear, you're going to miss you little dear." he then informed them he was headed for Utah on his scooter and don't worry about him.
They immediately set off to findhim. From Las Vagas to St, George was a good two hours in a car going 60 miles per hour. mom envisioned all the bad things that could happen to a young boy on such a mode of transportaion.
They found him safely in Utah having a great time with a friend instead of somewhere alongside the road. there is no doubt Dad was relieved to find him. I wonder just what was said to his little buddy who was beginning to grow his own wings.
By the time Jeff turned 12 the next year in May, he had a small motorcycle. Summer came and jeff decided it was time to head back to utah for a visit.
Mom said she and Dad came home from a shopping rip to the store and found a note left for themon the piano. it was from Jeff. It read: "Never worry never fear, you're going to miss you little dear." he then informed them he was headed for Utah on his scooter and don't worry about him.
They immediately set off to findhim. From Las Vagas to St, George was a good two hours in a car going 60 miles per hour. mom envisioned all the bad things that could happen to a young boy on such a mode of transportaion.
They found him safely in Utah having a great time with a friend instead of somewhere alongside the road. there is no doubt Dad was relieved to find him. I wonder just what was said to his little buddy who was beginning to grow his own wings.
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